Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Mental Health Jokes

Thirteen!

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!".  He continues walking along the long fence but, being a curious person, he can't help but wonder why they are chanting "Thirteen!" over and over. Could it be that they are chugging beer? Are they perhaps taking turns beating one of the inmates? Maybe they are counting the number of patients that have leapt off of the roof thus far.  His curiosity peaks and he frantically searches for a hole in the fence so that he may see what is going on. Finally, he spots one a few feet ahead. The hole is low in the fence and he has to kneel down to peer inside. He moves into position and peeks into the hole. As he looks in, someone inside pokes him in the eye! Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Great Escape

A man calls the psychiatrist at a mental hospital and asks who's in room 24."Nobody" comes the reply."Good" says the man, "I must have escaped!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Split Personality

Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.
Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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