Until Twelve

I was twelve before I realized I could cough without having a doctor hold my balls!

How Old are You?

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Forty Three" he said.

Hot Tub

Q:  What is the prudent thing to do when someone has an epileptic seizure in a hot tub?
A:  Toss in your laundry.