Memory Problems

Patient: "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!"
Doctor: "Since when did you have this problem?"
Patient: "What problem?
Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?"
Patient: "What pills?"

Arthritis Is So Cruel

"I'll tell you," he said, "I've learned that arthritis is the cruellest disease." "Crueller than cancer?" his friend asked. "You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every single one of your joints stiff, except the right one."

The 3 Guys in a Plane

There were 3 guys in a plane. The plane was about to crash.They each had to throw one item out: The 1st guy threw out an apple. The 2nd one threw out a banana. The 3rd one threw out a bomb. There were 3 guys below them. 2 were crying, 1 was laughing. A guy went up to the 1st one and asked, "Why are you crying?" He answered, "an apple hit me on the head." He went up to the 2nd one and asked, "Why are you crying?" He answered, "a banana hit me on the head." He went up to the 3rd one and asked, "Why are you laughing?" He answered, "I farted and my house blew up!"