Medical Students

Two young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed and discussing any abnormalities with each other that they may have seen in passers-by. They would then attempt to make the correct diagnosis. They spotted this old fellow leaving a bar sort of "duck waddling" down the street at a slow pace. The two students introduced themselves to the gentleman and told him that they didn't agree with each others diagnosis of the his problem. One says, "my friend thinks you have a bad case of hemorrhoids, and I think you have a hernia." Which of us is correct?The old man replies, "Well fellas, I thought it was a fart, but it looks like we were all wrong!"

Go to the Doctor

A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out... I'm freakin' out... my pee's coming out in four streams." He says, "Get up on the table and I'll see what I can do." She gets up on the table, and as he's examining her, he starts to giggle. She says, "It's not funny. My pee's coming out in four streams." He says, "It won't anymore. I took the trouser button out of there."

Soldier's Ambition

An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man," said the Major. He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man," barked the Major. He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!"