Emergency Rooms News

A man lying on a stretcher in the emergency room asks the doctor if he'll be okay. The doctor turns to him and says, "Well, there is good and bad news." "Tell me the bad news" says the man. "Well," says the doctor, "the bad news is that we are going to half to cut both your legs off." "Oh my God," cries the man, "what the hell is the good news?" "The good news is," replies the doctor, "see that man over there? He wants to buy your shoes."

Agony

Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

Blonde Passenger

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone