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Dark Humor Jokes - Suicide Jokes
Roof Top
My sweater is on the roof.
I know I'm a tough personal trainer, but I never thought I'd drive a client to suicide.
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Polack Catches Wife In Affair
This Polack came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing. "Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
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Where's my heart?
Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss this vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be. "On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast. "Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound to her left knee.
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