Dark Humor Jokes - Catholic Jokes

Blowjob Punishment

A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a blowjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: Anonymous

Pope's Crossword

On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said, "What's a four-letter word ending in "unt" which means "woman"
The bishop said, "Did you try "aunt?"
The Pope said,"Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Five Catholics

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’” 
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.” 
The fourth Catholic man then says, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.” 
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God!" 

Submitted BY: RichK
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