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Blonde Jokes
HUGE Collection of funny blonde jokes! Dumb Blondes, Slutty Blonds, Dirty blonde, we have them all! ROFL with your friends when you read this collection of over 1000 blonde jokes.
A Letter From Barbie
Chief Executive Officer Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA
Dear Sir,
Listen you little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this year, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it).
So, here's my New Year's resolution/wish list:
- A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
- Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!
- A REAL man... maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boyfriend, Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.
- Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.
- Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, just get it done.
- A sports bra. To wear until I get the surgery.
- A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, an advertising account exec!
- A new, more hip persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie", sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.
- No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.
- Mattel stock options. It's been decades -- I think I deserve it.
Yours truly,
Barbie
Dreamhouse Malibu, CA
Categories:
Blonde Jokes
(Smart Blonde Jokes)
, Blonde Jokes
, Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes
, Work & Office Jokes
, Work & Office Jokes
(About Boss)
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Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Two Blonde Jokes
Q: Want to hear two blonde jokes?
A: Listen to Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.
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- 6
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Anonymous
What is Six Inches Long
Q: What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A: A hundred dollar bill.
Categories:
Blonde Jokes
, Riddles
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Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous