Butter Or Blonde

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

So Relieved!

A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"

Cruise Special

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!" So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special please." The agent says "Yes, ma'am," then he grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her onto a large inner-tube, pulls her out the back door and downhill to the river bank, where he pushes her in and sends her floating down the river. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays down her money and asks for the $99 special. She too is sent floating down river. Drifting in stronger current she catches up with the first blonde. Drifting side by side for a while, the first blonde asks "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?" The second blonde replies, "They didn't last year."