A MIllion Ducks

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a man who has a burlap sack and a little guy about a foot tall sitting on the bar playing a little piano. The guy that walked into the bar asks the man, "What's in the bag?" The man pulls out a genie lamp. The guy says, "Wow! Can I have one of your wishes?" The man says, "I don't know. Rub the lamp and see." So the guy rubs the lamp and out pops the genie. The genie says, "You may have one wish." The guy wishes for a million bucks. The genie says, "Your wish is granted," and goes back into the genie bottle. Just then one million ducks walk into the bar. The guy says, "I didn't wish for a million ducks." The man replies, "Yeah, and I wished for a twelve inch pianist."

Blondes Love Puzzles

A bartender was working at a bar one night, when in walked a group of blondes chanting "44 days! 44 days!" One of the blondes was carrying a picture puzzle of Cookie Monster in a frame.
The bartender leaned towards the blonde holding the puzzle and asked, "Why are you chanting 44 days?"
She set down the puzzle on the counter and said, "A lot of people think us blondes are dumb, so to show them, we bought this puzzle and put it together. It said 1-3 months but we completed it in 44 days!"

Bar Crowd

A guy notices a crowd of women at the end of the bar. Curious, he walks toward the end and sees an immensely ugly guy being hit on by several ladies. He sits next to another fella and asks "So, what's this guy's deal? Is he rich or famous?" "Dunno," says the other guy, "he just sits there licking his eyebrows."