Seen You Before?

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic."

He's a Drunk Driver

There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out.  "YOU'RE DRUNK!", exclaimed the police officer.  "Thank God for that!", said the drunk, "I thought the steering had gone."

Redneck Walks Into a Bar

A redneck walks into a bar with a wet, steaming pile of shit in his hands. He looks over at the bartender with pride and says, "Lookie what I almost stepped in!"