Chuck, Jean Claud, and Arnold

Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day.  "If you were a musician, who would you be?", asked Chuck Norris.
"I think I would be Mozart," said Jean Claud VanDam.
"I would be Beethoven," said Chuck Norris.
Arnold replied, "I'll be Bach!"

Fight Between the Musicians

At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight. He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight was about. The oboe player says, "He broke my reed! I was just about to play my big solo when he broke my reed!" "Well?" says the stage manager to the viola player. "What do you say to that?" In umbrage, the viola player replies, "He undid two of my strings but he won't tell me which ones!"

Violist Like a Terrorist

Q: Why is a violist like a terrorist?
A: They both fuck up bowings.