Clarinet on the Dashboard

Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the handicap zones.

Musician Joke

Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories?
A: Violists.

Oboe Jokes

Q: How do you get five oboes in tune?
A: Shoot four of them.
Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.
Q: Why does an oboist always have to fight for correct intonation?
A: Because most oboes are full of holes.
Q: How do you make an oboist play a sustained A-flat?
A: Steal his batteries.