Is That a Record?

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.
"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.
"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."
"Is that a record?" she inquired.
"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

O Humid Night Song

O Humid Night (Melody: "O Holy Night")
O Humid Night Anopheline mosquitoes Are circling you in the hope of a meal. She takes a bite, saliva from her mouthparts Drool parasites which you can't see or feel Your brain can get sick, You will have a coma After the rage and the headaches have passed You're veggie soup, home to protozoa, Mosquito lands, time to go home at last.. Fall on your knees, Pale, burning with fever Plasmodia Are in your blood, were in your spleen Malaria There's no real cure, just in your dreams... 

Flutes Out of Tune

Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.