An English Horn

Q: Why is wetting your pants like playing an English Horn?
A: Both give you a warm feeling but no one notices.

Wagnerians

Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
A: About 10 pounds.

Light Bulb - Blues Musicians

Q: How many blues musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to screw in the light bulb, and four to play sad, blue songs about the old, worn out light bulb.