Lead Trumpet Changes Light Bulb

Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better.

Here Somewhere

Went to a music store looking for the Cello Concerto in D. I searched the place for over an hour with no luck. As I was about to give up and leave, I decided to have a look through other composers section on the off chance it was put in there by mistake. Eventually I found it. Haydn in the Bach.

Follow Instructions

When I'm at the opera, I hate those long solo numbers they do. Someone gave me a spray that will make it pass quickly.
The instructions on the bottle read "Spread over a large aria"