Bagpipe Band At The Door

Q: How do you know if a bagpipe band is at your front door?
A: No one knows when to come in.

Chainsaw and Bari-sax

Q:  How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A:  Add vibrato.

Five Pound Note

Q: There's note on the floor; who picks it up? The thrash guitarist, the drummer who keeps good time, or the drummer who keeps bad time?
A: The drummer who keeps bad time, because the other drummer doesn't exist, and the thrash guitarist doesn't care about notes anyway.