Nail Biting

To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it'll make her very fat. "I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter. Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. "If I bite my fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?" "You'll be fatter than that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, "Excuse me, but do you know me?" And the little girl says, "No, but I know what you've been doing."

Yo Mama - Airplane

Yo mama so fat she went on an airplane and it turned into a boat.

Trouble Reaching the 10th Floor

Q: A man lives and works in the same building. Every day he takes the elevator from the 10th floor down to the 1st floor where he works. At the end of the day he rides from the 1st floor up to the 7th floor and takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?
A: He is a dwarf and can't reach the 10th floor button.