Getting Money's Worth

Once there was a guy that went in a whorehouse and says, "What can I get for five bucks?" The madam says, "Second door on the right and fuck whatever is there." He goes, sees a pig, figured "Whaddya want for five bucks?" and fucks it.
The next week he comes back and asks what he can get for $20. The madam says, "Second floor, second door on the right, watch what happens." He goes in, sits down and looks down, he sees a glass floor with a view of a guy fucking a chicken on the first floor. He says to the man next to him, "Look at him with the chicken. That's crazy." The guy responds, "You shoulda been here last week -- some guy was fucking a pig!"

The Blonde and the Pig

A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, "Where did you get her?" The pig answered, "I won her at the fair."

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drink order. "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggie. "I would like a Coke," said the second little piggie. "I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggie. The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner. "I want a nice big steak," said the first piggie. "I would like the salad plate," said the second piggie. "I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggie. The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. "I want a banana split," said the first piggie. "I want a root beer float," said the second piggie. "I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggie. "Pardon me for asking," said the waiter, "but why have you only ordered water?" The third piggies says - "Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!'"