Kitchen Floor Too Dirty

Q: How do you know your kitchen floor is too dirty?
A: The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me"!

Croak

Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog!
Doc: So what's wrong with that?
Patient: I think I'm going to croak!

Alaska Tourism Warning

If you are considering doing some camping this summer, please note the following public service announcement: In Alaska, tourists are warned to wear tiny bells on their clothing when hiking in bear country. The bells warn away MOST bears (brown, black, etc.), but be careful because they don't scare Grizzly Bears. Tourists are cautioned to watch the ground on the trail, paying particular attention to bear droppings to be alert for the presence of Grizzly Bears. One can easily spot a Grizzly dropping because it has tiny bells in it.