Squirrel Lays On Its Stomach

Q: Why did the squirrel lay on its stomach?
A: To keep its nuts warm.

The Snake

There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said, "Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisoned?" Then the second Snake said, "Why do you ask?" The first one replied, "I just bit my lip!"

Australian Newbie

A 40-year-old woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man who has never been with a woman sexually. She takes out a personal ad and corresponds with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. After a long-distance courtship, they decide to get married. On their wedding night, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked, and all the furniture piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks. "I've never been with a woman," he says. "But if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"