Antlered Bloodsucker

Q: What has antlers and sucks blood?
A: A moose-quito!

Scottish Toads

Q: What do Scottish toads play?
A: Hop-scotch!

Me Tarzan!

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile. Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for!?' Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'