Guts and Balls

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.  We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask:  "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass   and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is No difference in the outcome. Both could result in death.

AAA Call

me: Hi, my name is Tiffany and I'm an alcoholic
AAA: Ma'am, you're reached the American Automobile Association
me: I know, I'm explaining why my car is in the lake.

Need Alcohol?

I hate when people say you don't need alcohol to have fun.
You don't need running shoes to run but it fucking helps.