AB Answering Machine

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

Beer Belly

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

Budweiser Or Else

A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns. "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" "O-o-o-o-r-r-r... w-w-what?" stammers the bartender. "A small Coke."