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Alcohol Jokes - Beer Jokes
Irish Assault and Battery
In hearing an Irish case of assault and battery, counsel, in cross examining one of the witnesses, asked him what they had the first place they stopped at. "Four glasses of ale," was the reply. "Next?" "Two glasses of whiskey." "Next?" "One glass of brandy." "Next?" "A fight."
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Not Just Sex
They say that men only think about sex. That's not exactly true. They also care a lot about power, world domination, money, and beer.
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Genie and the Beer
Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it out. A genie pops out in a puff of smoke and says, "You get one wish between the two of you-- make it a good one." The old man in the front of the boat yells back to his fishing buddy. "Lemme handle this-- I know just what to ask for!" He looks at the genie and says, "We want the whole lake to be turned into ice cold beer!" The genie nods and says, "You got it, boys!" And instantaneously, the whole lake is beer! The old man in the back of the boat throws a life preserver, smacks his buddy up-side the head, and yells out, "You idiot! Why the heck did you do that?" "Whadaya talking about?" the other fisherman answers. "I thought you'd like a lake-full of beer. What's the problem?" "I do like it... but the problem is... now we gotta piss in the boat!!!!"
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