Partnership

Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist.

They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.

The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.

This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign to read: Catatonics and High Colonics.

This was also a no-go.

Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives.

Thumbs down again. Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good.

Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again!

So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way.

Freaks and Cheeks - still no good.

Loons and Moons - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.

 
Everybody loved it...

Psy Cards

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!            
Psychiatrist:  Sit over there and I'll deal with you later!

Better Relationship

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."
"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.
"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."
"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you."
The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.
"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women."
"So, what's your problem?"
"I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does."