Creeper

I've been talking to a 13 year old girl for about 2 weeks now.
We've been texting a lot lately and she just told me she's an undercover cop.  That's quite impressive for her age.

Excuse For Speeding

A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? Officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."

Officer Termination

An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job.
No exact details were given to the public, but word has it that he was a high wanking officer.