Good And Bad News

An old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination the doctor tells him; "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?" To which the patient replied "Well, give me the bad news first."
"You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left."
The patient was shocked; "Oh no! That's awful! In two years my life will be over?! What kind of good news could you possibly tell me, after this?"
The doctor broke the news, "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."

Ignored

A patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!

You Hear It Too?

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, he too put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"