Eye Exam Instructions

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating." The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?" The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

Best of Friends

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment, but I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will." "That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."

Hernia Operation

One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis, took the balls out and set them on the table. At the end of the operation he wanted to put the balls back into the scrotum. He searched the operating room but could not find the balls of the patient. He told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep this poor man's testis pouch empty. After the operation, he met the patient in a garden for morning walk. Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling. The man said "Doc everything is fine! Life is good except that whenever I scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."