The Blonde Flight Attendant

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.  The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.  He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.  She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.  "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"  The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Lover ID

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a nurse or a flight attendant?
A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.
A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.
And a flight attendant says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.

Heavy Luggage

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed. "No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"