Saving The Airlines

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere'
going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would
see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why didn't Bush or Obama think of this?
Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Rob Ford
Toronto Mayor

The Blonde Flight Attendant

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.  The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.  He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.  She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.  "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"  The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Lover ID

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a nurse or a flight attendant?
A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.
A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.
And a flight attendant says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.