Warning All Shoplifters

Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten, gagged, whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

What is the Worst Thing About Our Justice System?

What is the worst thing about our justice system?
You're leaving your fate in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

Filing An Appeal

The lawyer had come to the State Prison to visit his client, who had recently been sentenced by the court to life imprisonment for a particularly hideous crime. He was seated in the visiting room across the table from his prisoner-client, explaining the various legal procedures he had followed. " I have filed an appeal in the lower court, and that was denied," he explained. "Then I filed an appeal in the State Supreme Court. That was denied. Next, I filed an appeal in the Federal District Court, which was denied. And as a last resort, last week I filed an appeal with the United States Supreme Court-and that has been denied." " But there must be something else we can file!" exclaimed the frantic prisoner. "There is only one more thing," confined the attorney. He cautiously took an iron rod out of his briefcase and slipped it to the prisoner. "The only thing left to file," he said, "are the bars of your cell!"