Bank Teller

 A middle aged man walks into the bank and says to the young teller, "I want to open a fucking checking account". "Please sir", she replies, "we can't have language like that in here." "Why the Fuck not?" he asked. "Sir," Came her retort, "I must ask you to refrain from swearing." "I don't give a shit what you want," he answers, "I just want to open a fucking checking account." With this the teller leaves and returns in a moment with her branch manager. The manager asks if he might be able to help the gentleman. "Shit yes", came the reply, "I just won 14 million dollars in the lottery and want to open a fucking checking account." The branch manager says, "I see, and this stupid, fucking, bitch is giving you a hard time?"

Bank Robbery

 A hooded robber burst into a North Dakota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave North Dakota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him too. Everyone in the bank, now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" There are a few moments of complete silence in which everyone was too afraid to speak. Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from North Dakota tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

Bankers Are Great Lovers

Q: Why do bankers make great lovers?
A: They know the penalty for early withdrawal.