Bump

Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling much better since his operation, but couldn't account for the enormous bump on the back of his head. "Oh, that?" chuckled Mrs. Horntoot. "Just before your operation they suddenly ran out of ether!"

Knockout Decisions

Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with either gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation

Definition of an Anesthesiologist

An anesthesiologist is a doctor who works in the operating room to delay your pain until such time as you get their bill for services.