The Mugger Payback

Two guys are walking down a dark alley when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. Both scared, they pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then, one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill and says, "Hey, here's that twenty dollars I owe you."

Accountant Math

An accountant decided to leave his wife one day. He left her a note saying, "Dear Jane, I am 54 years old and I have never done anything wild. So I'm leaving you for an 18 year old blonde model. We'll be staying at the Sheraton."  He then packed his things and went there. When he arrived at the Sheraton, there was a message for him from his wife. It read, "Dear John. I too am 54 years old. I have followed your example and am staying at the Hyatt with an 18 year old Italian hunk. And I'm sure that you, as an accountant, will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many many more times than 54 goes into 18!"

Girls Night Out

The other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night Club." One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill. The dancer came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek. Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his other butt cheek. Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my other friend pulls out a $50 bill. She calls the guy back over again, licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt cheeks. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that? I got out my wallet, then got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the $80 bucks and went home!