Chasing Ambulances

Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.

Lawyer and Snake

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a poisonous snake?
A: You can make a pet out of the snake.

2 + 2

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2 + 2?" The housewife replies: "Four!" The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time." The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"