Ice Hole

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win; they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back. "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"

Fisherman's Ode

Two old men were fishing off a bridge as they had done daily for many years. Suddenly a funeral procession came down the road. The one old man reeled in his line, lain down his pole, faced the street and bowed his head until the procession had passed. He then picked up his pole and started fishing again. The other fisherman was amazed and stated "I didn't know you were that religious." The other looked at him and said "Least I could do, we've been married 42 years!"

Facts of Life

• Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes, there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
• There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
• Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
• Don't worry about the world ending today...It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia -then start worrying)
• Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
• Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
• Drive carefully, It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
• A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
• A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
• The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
• There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
• A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.