Hanging Blonde

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

The Blonde and the Shepherd

There was a blonde girl who had become fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black. She did, and she was so happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to an intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass. While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have there, would you give me one?"
He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed "487!"
The shepherd said "WOW! That's right. Well, take any sheep you like. A deal's a deal."
So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepherd says, "WAIT! Now I have a deal for you. If I guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Which Father?

A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!"