St. Paul Vs Minneapolis

Q: Why did everyone in Minneapolis quit going to church and lose their faith?
A There are a dozen pages in the Bible about St. Paul, but nothing about Minneapolis.

Kentucky Redneck and Ohio Buckeye

A Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye are night fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio River. As soon as the redneck puts his line in the water, he slings a fish onto the bank. The buckeye isn't catching anything, so he yells across to the redneck, "Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!" "Alright, tell ya what -- I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!" the redneck yells back. The buckeye replies, "Ain't no way, buddy. You must think I'm a fool. I know when I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!"

Kentucky Derby

He's so dumb, he thinks the Kentucky Derby is a hat.