A Brief Declaration

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"

Bicycle Ride

One day, a fellow went for a ride through the park on his bicycle. The following day, a friend asked him if he would like to do it again. He replied, "No thanks, I'm not into recycling."

Bill and Bob Camping

Bill and Bob go on a hunting trip. At night in their tent, Bill tells Bob about a hunting trip he went on in Canada. "A few years ago I was in Canada hunting. My buddies and I called it a night and made camp. When I woke up there was a moose right in front of my face! I was so scared I shit my pants!" Bob replies, "Hell, I woulda shit my pants too, crazy moose." Bill looks at Bob seriously and says, "No, I really shit my pants. Apparently I shit my pants when I sleep and the smell attracted the moose. Good night Bob."