Crazy Nun

One day a little old nun was driving 35 miles an hour down the highway.  A cop pulls her over because she was so slow and asked her why she wasn't going faster.  She points at a sign by the side of the road that said highway 35 on it, saying she thought that was the speed limit. The cop laughs and tells her that it was highway number 35.  
Then looking in the back seat, the cop notices two nuns looking very frightened.  He asks them what was wrong and they said, "We just got off highway 130!"

Souped Up Lincoln

A rich guy from the north is driving his Lincoln Continental down to New Orleans. Along the way he picks up a redneck.
The redneck looks quizzically at the dash board and says, "What aret hose thangs?"
The driver says, "Those are golf tees."
The redneck asks, "What those are for?"
The driver says "Those hold  my balls when I drive."
The redneck says, "Sheeit, these Lincolns sure come with everythang!"

Ghost Car

Q: Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?
A: It had a nervous breakdown!