Tasered At The Airport

Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout, "Hi Jack!"

Regular Maintenance

A man pushes his car into the garage and tells the mechanic that the engine just died on him down the street. After a few moments of tinkering under the hood, the engine is purring again. “Great,” says the driver. “How did you fix it?” “Just crap in the carburetor,” replies the mechanic. “Okay,” replies the man. “So how often do I have to do that?”

Helpful Advice For Travellers

If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you because... what are the odds of two guys being on the same plane at the same time with a bomb?