Bad Driving Witch

Q: What do you call a witch who drives really badly?
A: A road hag!

A Brief Declaration

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"

The Blonde Driver

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener!"