Tip of the Iceberg

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to see if they had a barber. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes." Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, swiped his credit card and stuck his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he ever received in his life. Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures." "Why not?" thought the salesman. He swipped his card again and inserted his hands into the slot, and pulled them out perfectly manicured. The next machine had a huge sign that read, "This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives." The salesman was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody around he again swiped his card then unzipped his pants and stuck his "thing" into the opening - with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for two weeks. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later it shut off and, with trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his "thingy"... Which now had a button sewed on the tip.

Bumper Stickers

All generalizations are false, including this one.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

An Insurance Company

Feed Insurance form question and answer about a recent accident:
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: I could have traveled by bus.
 
A man collided with a cow and completed the requested form as follows:
Q: What warning did you give the other party before the collision?
A: Horn
Q: What warning was given by the other party?
A: Moo