Light Bulb - Macintosh Engineers

Q: How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - it has to be done by a local authorized dealer.

Light Bulb - Mac Users

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard.

If Apple Made Toasters

If Apple made toasters... It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier. The toast would make a little smiley face at you when it popped up, or else it would get stuck and there would be a little picture of a bomb burned onto it. If they break, these toasters would require a special set of MacToaster Tools to even open up. Worldwide market share would only be 5%, but all the bread in school lunches would be exclusively toasted on the MacToaster.