Windows 2000 Errors Messages

The following are new Error Messages are planned for Windows 2000:

1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue
2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9. Windows message: "You have just made a type mismatch! Shall I format your brain?"
10. This is a message from God: "Rebooting the universe, please log off."
11. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
12. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
13. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press any key.
14. CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
16. Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
19. WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER.
20. User Error: Replace user.
21. Windows VirusScan1.0 - "OS/2 found: Remove it? (Y/Y)"
22. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic.

Bill Gates - Late Again

I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting a baby in June. I'm betting the baby will be late.

Top Ten Favorite Activities of Jean-Luc Picard

1. Ordering Earl Grey tea from the computer, then smacking himself on the forehead and saying, "I could have had a V-8!"
2. Yelling "Punchbuggy!", then hitting Riker's arm whenever he sees a shuttlecraft.
3. Screwing around in the holodeck when he ought to be on the bridge!
4. Spotlighting unsuspecting crew members with the glare from his forehead.
5. Lecturing everybody on why it's rude to fire the phasers at other life-forms.
6. Sending crank subspace messages to Starfleet Command asking if Dick Hertz is there.
7. Asking Beverly Crusher to come to his quarters so he can show her "a REAL Picard Maneuver."
8. Ticking off Romulan commanders during tense confrontations in the neutral zone by asking, "Are those Bugle Boy jeans you're wearing?"
9. Telling crewmembers in menacing, Dirty Harry voice, "Go ahead, make it so."
10. Putting banana peels on the transporter pads just before an away team beams back up.