Message to Thief

Message to whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. 
I will find you.
You have my Word!

Password Hell

WEBSITE: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WEBSITE: Sorry, that password is already in use.

IBM Alert

Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) . Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse maybe used immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.