The Signatures Match

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

Boomerang

ME: I'd like to return a defective boomerang
SHOPKEEPER: Ok. Where is it?
ME: I have no idea

Way to have FUN while shopping!

Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these...

• Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!"
• Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme to "Mission Impossible".
• When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! It's those voices again!"
• Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
• Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
• Look right into the security cameras, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
• When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
• Set up a tent in the Camping Department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bed and Bath aisle.
• Re-dress mannequins as you see fit.
• Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares."
• Make a trail of orange juice on the ground leading to the restrooms.
• Try bras on over your clothes. (works very well if you're a man)
• Run up to an employee, (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell at him, "I need tampons!"
• Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.