Sex Jokes - Oral Sex Jokes

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Middle Aged Newlyweds

A middle aged man and woman fall in love and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, "Please be gentle... I am still a virgin." Startled, the groom says, "How can that be? You've been married twice..." The bride responds, "Well, you see it was this way: My first husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about sex." Catching her breath, she continues, "My second husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was... Oh God, I miss him!"

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Wedding Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Chivalry Defined

Q: Why do men give cold women their jackets?
A: No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes)
Anonymous

Umballa Roulette

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.''
A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms. ''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.'' ''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a blowjob.'' ''But my friend, where is the danger in this?''
Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.''

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Food Jokes (Meat-eater Jokes)
Anonymous
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