Fruity Class

Q: What is the fruitiest lesson?
A: History, because it's full of dates!

Blank Sheet Assignment

One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions. "Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher. "Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."

Why Studying Is Better Than Sex

1. You can usually find someone to do it with.
2. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
3. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
4. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
5. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
6. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
7. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
8. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
9. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
10. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.