Miller Time

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere. In fact, all our kids were conceived during Miller Lite commercials.

Men & Women Compared!

NICKNAMES:

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.  But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as LardAss, Butt-Breath, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.  The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!
DRESSING UP:

A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
LOOKS:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (I invite any woman to prove me wrong! :)

The Geography of Men And Women

The Geography of a Woman;

• Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
• Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
• Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
• Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
• Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatroled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
• Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future (a bit like Tony Blair, maybe Blair's a women really).
• After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man

• Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a dick.