Traffic Stop

A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! 
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms. 
The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.  When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for. The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole!"
Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; “Officer, is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?" Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top." Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?" "Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined." "What does the "AH" stand for, officer?" "Aggressive and hostile, Sir."
"Aggressive and hostile?"
"Yes, Sir.”
"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole ?" 
"Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.”

Some Stupid Truckers

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3."They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4.""What do you think?" one asked the other.The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"

Blondes Lost the Key

Two blondes were going to the mall. When they got out of the car, they started tossing the car keys back and forth. One of the blondes missed, and the keys flew into the sewer drainpipe. The other blonde tried to reach it but couldn't. So, she called a locksmith, and a cop. When the two got there, the blondes explained what happened, then the cop tried to reach the keys but couldn't. Finally the locksmith opened the door. The blonde that missed the keys in the first place said, "Whew... for a second there I thought we might of needed to use the SPARE key."