Pain During Labor

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Violin Cloaking Device

Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.

Drum Keys

Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.